Divorce is never a walk in the park. It’s more like a trek through a dark jungle of contorted emotions and fears without any light to find your way or see your truth. Regardless of whether or not you initiated the breakup, you feel a sense of disconnection, disruption, and abject terror.
You wonder if you’ll ever feel good again
Will the see-saw of moods and run-away thoughts ever again allow you to sleep soundly or think clearly? You question your own self-worth. Will you be able to navigate the world alone and manage to raise your kids? Uncertainty takes over. Will real love ever be possible? The deafening inner noise increases your worries and camouflages your path.
Personal transformation
You’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, sick to your stomach or your brain is unfocused and foggy. But the effects are temporary. You’re evolving. You’re on your way to a mega-change that will connect you to a better you. You just don’t realize it yet. Let’s face it, divorce is traumatic and as such it causes alarming apprehension.
Reprogram Your Mind
To change the experience from feeling debilitating, you have to change your mind. What does that mean? It means to become mindful and aware of your negative thoughts and learn to let them go. It’s okay to feel sad—or even angry—but hyper-focusing on those episodes will expand and increase them. Don’t dwell on the grief. Instead, interrupt painful thoughts by regularly using two statements. Repeat as often as you can throughout the day (and I’ll explain why as you keep reading):
I’m confident, strong and energetic and I’m improving my life every day.
I love and accept myself and I calmly observe my emotions and feelings with mindfulness
How positive declarations work
They create constructive visualizations of how you can see yourself. Breakups trigger blinding judgments of failure resulting in low self-esteem and self-criticisms which contribute to agonizing depression. By saying these statements as soon as you awaken in the morning and as often as possible throughout the day, you influence a more expanded view of yourself even in the midst of crisis.
You are not your thoughts and it’s helpful to detach from them and connect to your higher self. Practice, practice, practice! As you do, you’ll find a treasure trove of love and be able to tap into your greatest potential.
Peggy Sealfon is a Personal Development Coach who spends her time helping people overcome life’s big and small challenges. Order her best-selling book, Escape From Anxiety—Supercharge Your Life With Powerful Strategies from A to Z.
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