Letting go of toxic people

March 8, 2017 by

toxic

Releasing people from your life who are not good for you is a vital piece in being a well balanced happy emotionally healthy person. It is, however, not easy on any level a lot of the time.

How do you determine if someone is toxic to your life?

  • Toxic people create chaos in other people’s lives on a pretty consistent basis
  • They expect that you will deal with their drama without question – their problems are your problems
  • Your life gets put on the back burner in order to try and help them
  • They seem to switch from loving to angry easily and seemingly without reason. They are very unpredictable
  • Toxic people are manipulative. Their desired outcome is what matters to them
  • They refuse or are unable to admit responsibility for things that go wrong in their lives, always blaming others
  • They make you prove yourself to them over and over ie. “If you loved me… If you were really my friend…”
  • They never or rarely apologize even when blatantly wrong OR they do so in order to manipulate and continue right on with the same behavior anyway
  • They expect you to be there for every crisis but when you need them, the support isn’t available
  • Toxic people tend to exaggerate and draw you in
  • They are only supportive of you when it fits their own agenda

None of this is to say that these people do not love you in their own way or that you do not love them. Love, however, is not a valid reason to trap yourself in an emotionally draining or even abusive relationship or friendship.

We often mean to help these toxic friends or loved ones when what we are really doing is enabling the behaviors. Setting boundaries is healthy. If they do care about you, they will respect them.

Loving yourself means taking care of yourself. Sometimes taking care of yourself means saying no to other people’s drama, taking a step back and putting some distance between yourself and the other person. It doesn’t mean you don’t care or that you no longer love them. It means that it is time to value yourself and focus on your own life.

www.monarchwellness.net offers many groups as well as private classes and sessions to help get you focused on self-healing and wellness.

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About Kimberly Rodgers, LCSW, RPT-S

Kimberly is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the state of Florida and Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor through the Association for Play Therapy. She also supervises clinical social work interns pursuing licensure. She has worked as a psychotherapist for twelve years and holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Social Work from the University of Georgia and Master’s Degree in Clinical Social Work from the University of Central Florida.

Her experience includes foster care, adoption, youth shelter, youth related research, school-based counseling, and sexual assault crisis center settings prior to private practice. She specializes in counseling children, families, and adults struggling with stress, anxiety, trauma, and adjustment to life transitions. Kimberly is a current Board member of the Mental Health Association of Southwest Florida and former Vice-President of the Southwest Florida chapter of the Association for Play Therapy. She is also a member of the National Association of Social Workers and EMDR International Association.

Kimberly is founder of Monarch Wellness (originally Monarch Therapy), an integrative center focused on empowering individuals and families through emotional and behavioral metamorphosis. In addition to counseling and play therapy, the center offers other supportive modalities to further enhance emotional healing and stress management including support groups, yoga, laughter yoga, breathwork, integrative relaxation, and sound therapy. Monarch Wellness' sister site eFitFamily.com offers health related information and inspiration for everyday families to live healthier every day. The center is also involved with House of Gaia community center and other community and service focused organizations. More information about Kimberly and her practice can be found online: www.MonarchWellness.net.

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