Relinquishing the need to save others

March 13, 2017 by

save othersIt is the human condition to want to help. It is kind and proper to do your best to be good to others. It is in everyone’s best interest. – Or, is it?

Helping others helps our humanity. We feel good when we truly perform gestures of kindness. The problem comes in when that kindness is taken advantage of. When you end up with certain individuals in your life that come to expect you to constantly help. They can begin to cross that line from needing an occasional favor to needing and worse expecting you to be there at the drop of the hat every time something goes wrong.

You become their lifeline, their knight in shining armor.

It can be time-consuming, emotionally draining, physically draining, and even push the limits of their life taking time away from and precedence over your own. Learning to say “no” becomes vital to your own wellbeing. The problem is that with these types of friendships or relationships along with saying “no”, often comes guilt. You want the best for that person and it was in your realm of possibility to help them (again). But this time you didn’t. How do you justify that? – Not to them, but to yourself.

It is important to think about things from a different perspective. When it is all about them, yes the perspective is “feel bad” “you should have helped”. But in reality how good of a friend is that person being to you by expecting you to take help care of their life issues all of the time? Is that kind on their part, is it thoughtful, does it take into account your feelings?

The answer is No.

The best way to keep balance in any friendship or relationship is to establish balance and boundaries. When it’s all give and no take on one side the energy and the friendship are not balanced. Constantly trying to save someone, no matter how much you love them not only wears you out, it actually disempowers that person.

If you need to regain some balance back in your life Monarch Wellness can help. We offer a wide array of classes and one on one sessions. Please visit www.monarchwellness.net to learn more or schedule.

Originally posted: http://monarchwellness.net/2017/03/relinquishing-the-need-to-save-others/

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About Kimberly Rodgers, LCSW, RPT-S

Kimberly is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the state of Florida and Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor through the Association for Play Therapy. She also supervises clinical social work interns pursuing licensure. She has worked as a psychotherapist for twelve years and holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Social Work from the University of Georgia and Master’s Degree in Clinical Social Work from the University of Central Florida.

Her experience includes foster care, adoption, youth shelter, youth related research, school-based counseling, and sexual assault crisis center settings prior to private practice. She specializes in counseling children, families, and adults struggling with stress, anxiety, trauma, and adjustment to life transitions. Kimberly is a current Board member of the Mental Health Association of Southwest Florida and former Vice-President of the Southwest Florida chapter of the Association for Play Therapy. She is also a member of the National Association of Social Workers and EMDR International Association.

Kimberly is founder of Monarch Wellness (originally Monarch Therapy), an integrative center focused on empowering individuals and families through emotional and behavioral metamorphosis. In addition to counseling and play therapy, the center offers other supportive modalities to further enhance emotional healing and stress management including support groups, yoga, laughter yoga, breathwork, integrative relaxation, and sound therapy. Monarch Wellness' sister site eFitFamily.com offers health related information and inspiration for everyday families to live healthier every day. The center is also involved with House of Gaia community center and other community and service focused organizations. More information about Kimberly and her practice can be found online: www.MonarchWellness.net.

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