Last time we reviewed how intimate relationships form and how in the glow of a new relationship habits can form that inhibit the development of good boundaries and effective communication. This time we will look at how to develop good boundaries. Developing good boundaries in an intimate relationship requires being able to stand apart from ourselves and the relationship and see the big picture. We used to call this process. developing the observing ego. This means developing the part of ourselves that isn’t entangled in all of the projection and introjection that we do to protect ourselves … [Read more...]

We fall in love and decide that this is the one! This is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.  It’s wonderful, magical and a truly wonderful time in life.  As we proceed in the relationship the magic continues as we get to know each other better and share more of ourselves with the other.  We find that we have much in common and over time finish each other’s sentences….know each other’s thoughts.  There is often a feeling of merging with the other….we are one. As time passes the pressures of everyday life begin to impinge on the relationship and how we cope with those … [Read more...]

"Love is like a butterfly. Hold it too loose and it will fly away. Hold it too tight and it will crush." ~ Midnight Train "Don't smother each other.  No one can grow in the shade." ~ Leo Buscaglia Relationships are challenging.  When the conflicts outweigh the joy, connection feels like just a memory, or the tension impacts the children in more and more unhealthy ways....it may be time to consider couples therapy.  On the flip side, many couples decide to seek pre-marital counseling from a preventative standpoint to prepare for a life-long union and build a healthy, supportive, … [Read more...]