Setting New Year’s Resolutions

January 1, 2012 by

 “To know and not to do is not to know” (Buddha)

What could that possibly have to do with the topic of this article??? Well, let’s look at the headline again: “Setting New Year’s Resolutions”. First of all I would like to share with you a strategy to identify a relevant New Year’s resolution for  yourself. But secondly, to help you make it more likely that you will actually follow through with it.

You might consider smoking cessation, eating healthier and losing weight, reconciling with an  estranged friend or relative, renovating your home or other ideas. Now before you ultimately decide on any action you would like to take in 2012, I encourage you to step back, slow down and take time to identify which deeper need/s of yours would actually be met if you could realize your resolution. Universal human needs we all share are for example Contribution, Purpose and Meaning, Safety, Security, Protection, Sustainability, Beauty, Ease, Certainty, Honesty, Trust, Solidarity, Support, and Connection. Be aware of a very important distinction when you zoom in on a need. We often mistake strategies for needs! Examples for that are Money or Control. Ask yourself if what you are looking at is actually the need itself or merely a strategy to meet some underlying needs.

In accordance with Buddha’s wisdom I suggest that we often are not really clear and sure about if and why some action or strategy really matters to us on a deeper level. Or as the renowned Indian philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti claimed: “There can only be a decision making conflict between two wrongs.” In other words, if you are looking at two or more options and can clearly see the one that feels right to you, there will be no more hesitation, no decision making conflict. In that case you will absolutely and with excitement renovate your house. Ask yourself what for example reaching out to an estranged relative would mean to you on a deeper level, what need/s of yours would be met by taking that action. And then just “sit” with that need for a while and just be open to where that clarity will take you.

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Filed Under: Adult Mental Health, Healthy Holidays, Inspiration, Mental Wellness, Motivation
About Udo Fischer

My name is Udo Fischer and I have been practicing psychotherapy in Naples for five years. Trained in clinical psychology and neuropsychology in Europe I further deepened my skills at the Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy in Philadelphia. In Germany I conducted research with Prof. Dr. Rainer Sachse, a thought leader in the treatment of somatoform and personality disorders. A second mentor was Prof. Dr. Dietmar Schulte, president of the German Behavior Therapy Association and leading researcher for the treatment of mood and anxiety disorders.
Besides resolving clinical issues I apply a communication, conflict management, mediation approach that has been successfully applied in corporate and diplomatic contexts as well. My success rate with couples in crises is 100% assumed that both parties are motivated to resolve their issues amicably.